About two thousand years ago there flourished in Mylapore, Madras, a born Siddha and a born poet by name Valluvar or, as he is more commonly known, ‘Thiruvalluvar’, which only means, ‘the devotee of the Valluva caste’. Valluvas are Pariahs (now called Harijans) and their vocation was proclaiming the orders of the king by beat of drum. There is a tradition that Thiruvalluvar was the son of one Bhagavan, a Brahmin, and Adi, a Pariah woman whom he had married.
Thiruvalluvar was born at Madurai, the capital of the Pandyas. He is regarded as an Avatara of Brahma. His wife Vasuki was a chaste and devoted lady, an ideal wife, who never disobeyed the orders of her husband, but always carried them out implicitly. Thiruvalluvar showed people that a person could lead the life of a Grihastha or householder, and at the same time, lead a divine life or a life of purity and sanctity. He showed people that there was no necessity to leave the family and become a Sannyasin to lead a divine life of purity and sanctity. All his wise sayings and teachings are now in book form and known as ‘Thirukkural’. These sayings are all in couplets. Here are some of them:
Just as the alphabet ‘A’ is the beginning of all letters, so also, God is the beginning for this universe.
Learn the Shastras completely and then act according to their injunctions.
The Anicha flower will fade by smelling, but guests are more sensitive if the hosts turn their faces a bit.
Death is like sleeping in the burial ground;birth is like waking in the morning.
These couplets are 1,330 in number. They contain the essence of the Vedas, the Upanishads and the six Darshanas. Thirukkural is regarded as a universal Bible. It is another Gita, Koran or Zend Avesta.
Some aspirants repaired to Thiruvalluvar and enquired: "O sage, which Ashrama of life is better—Grihastha or Sannyasa?". Thiruvalluvar did not give any answer. He simply kept quiet. He wanted to teach them the glory of Grihastha Ashrama by example.
Thiruvalluvar was taking cold rice in the morning. He said to his wife: "Vasuki, the rice is very hot. Bring a fan to cool it". Thiruvalluvar’s wife was drawing water from the well when Thiruvalluvar called her. She at once left the rope and ran to him with a fan to cool the rice. She did not say to her husband: "How can the cold rice be hot? Why do you want a fan now?". She simply obeyed his commands. The vessel that contained water was hanging half-way in the well unsupported, on account of her Pativrata Dharma Shakti. The aspirants noticed this phenomenon and the noble conduct of Vasuki and were simply struck with amazement.
About midday, on another occasion, Valluvar called his wife and said, "Bring a lamp immediately, O Vasuki! I am stitching the cloth. I cannot see the eye of the needle. I cannot pass the thread properly". Vasuki did not say to her husband: "It is broad daylight now. Why do you want a lamp? You can see the eye of the needle clearly". But she implicitly obeyed his word. The aspirants were much inspired by the ideal life of sage Thiruvalluvar and the exalted conduct of Vasuki. They did not speak a word to the saint. They took leave of the saint and quietly left the place with profound satisfaction. They were deeply impressed by the practical and exemplary life led by Thiruvalluvar and Vasuki. They learnt the lesson that the life of an ideal householder was in no way inferior to that of an ideal Sannyasin who was treading the path of Nivritti and austerity in the Himalayan caves and that each was great in its own place, time and circumstances.
Dear readers! Such ladies sit enthroned in the hearts of their husbands. No doubt they are hard to find, because such women never advertise themselves; but there must be many in our land of Rishis and sages; and unless we maintain such a high level of moral purity, we will all be going down in these days of modern civilization and scientific advancement. If the husbands of the present day behave like Thiruvalluvar, the wives will say, "My husband has become senseless. He wants to fan the rice when it is so cold! He wants a light when there is broad sunlight". The wives will rebuke their husbands and fight with them.
That house wherein the wife serves the husband with sincere devotion and observes Pativrata Dharma is heaven on earth. That house wherein the wife fights with the husband and disobeys his orders is a veritable hell on earth. Ladies who practise Pativrata Dharma need not go to temples. They need not practise any Vrata or penance. Service to the husband becomes worship. They can realise God through service to their husbands. Husbands also should be ideal persons with noble qualities. Husbands are the Gurus for their wives. The wives need not get any initiation from any Acharya. Glory to such exalted ladies who practise Pativrata Dharma
Wednesday, July 18, 2007
1 comments:
Dear Sir,
I am a devoted Devi bhaktha and a practicing Hindu,... i only mention this so that there is no confusion over my perspective.
Frequently, when I express disagreement with other Hindus online, I find myself beset with irrational accusations of being a "communist" or "Muslim"... neither of which I am.
I am, however, a social activist deeply involved with matters of civil-rights, both in India and the in the West.
Too often in the course of my work have I found that people turn to the catch-all term of "tradition" in order to dismiss the cruel imbalances which "tradition" too often advocates (e.g., caste-based discrmination or violence in India, or race-relations and war-mongering in the West.)
I dont see the story of Vasuki as exemplary of how a wife should be. In fact, her behavior is a warning about possible domestic violence.
I dont know if you have ever been to a household where a wife has no say, but the fact remains that such households are generally violent, abusive, and disfunctional... quite contrary to the "heaven on earth" which the male writers of this story promise.
Children who come from such households have poor social skills, are ill-tempered and frequently turn to violence snd self-destructive behavior to solve their own problems.
My own experience has shown me that often, when a wife is too silent in a household, it is the result of domestic abuse, and often the children are being sexually violated by the male household-head. This is fact that you can research for yourself, the data is not hard to find.
Such behavior is not at all out of keeping with traditions that marry small, pre-pubescent girls to old, sexually maladjusted men. This is a well-documented sociological fact. In fact, in South India, there is a tremendous body of literature dealing with this problem.
The story of Vasuki is one which was composed by high-caste men to serve their own purposes... that is, to ensure a consistent flow of dependant, non-threatening and sexually immature females at their bidding. (the fact that the saint in question might be a Harijan does not dismiss the fact that the authors of the story are Brahmins).
In this sense, it is no wonder that India's Red-Light districts are populated by under-age prostitutes, most of whom were sold by male members of their families, with no protests from obedient, unquestioning mothers.
Even the present communal violence which threatens to de-stabilize India can be related to poor domestic relations. I know many people who are RSS activists, and without exception they come from abusive households in which a quiet, unquestioning mother is beaten by a hard-headed father. Having grown-up with consistent images of their mothers being beaten has everything to do with the violent and genocidal harangues which they advocate for now.
I counter your story of Vasuki with that of Mariyamman and Narambhil Bahagavathy. Renuka, or Mariyamman, was murdered by her husband and son for nothing more than accidently seeing the reflection of a man in water... too similar to today's "honor-killings". The wrath of Jamadagni and Parasuram is so great, that they even kill the Harijan woman who comes to Renuka's defense. Are these model men? Certainly not... and for their desserts, the gods give Mariyamman the right to punish her oppresors with small-pox.
Narambhil Bagavathy was the deity of a patient, virtuous and very poor woman who was frequently beaten by her husband for her "disobedience". Once while praying at the temple, this good woman was late returning home to prepare her husbands dinner. He beat her to a pulp, until Bhagavathy appeared on the scene and disemboweled him. The vines on the sacred banyan tree at her temple are said to be the entrails of this man, which Bhagavathy threw into the air after killing him.
While the story of Vasuki is offered to counter the rights of Indian women, the stories of Mariyamman and Narambhil Bhagavathy express the very real pain that Indian women too often suffer at the hands of men who lack conscience, and who look to legend to form proto-types for their own behavior.
--thank you for your time
Post a Comment